For those who might have noticed, I don't make much art anymore..
I used to draw 100's of drawings in a short amount of time,
but the past months, I started drawing less and less... If you want to know the reason, then you can read on.
If you don't really care that's fine, you don't have to read.
I just want to say to you that my mind is just too full of thoughts
Most people only set their mind on one or two things,
but I have like a 100 things in my mind all the time.
It's hard to control all of my thoughts, since there is no balance any more.
Sometimes I was simple minded, but I'm not.For those who try to be broad minded and want to know a lot
of things, believe me, it's not that nice.
I really hate the way I think, but it also gives me my personality..
so if I didn't think like this I wouldn't be the person I am now...
Sometimes I am really unhappy with the way I act and think
because it only causes me problems with myself.
I used to like being alone a lot, I didn't mind
spending my whole evening drawing all by myself.
Well I remember I always had some sad feelings,
but now it has become so much worse
for some years now, I am into the style of wearing black (gothic)
I slowly changed my clothing style but my personality never changed
because I feel good this way, I am myself.
Recently, I keep feeling worse about myself.
I may even be jealous of all those attention seekers on
the internet, because they assume they are loved by everyone...The only thing giving me a bit of courage are some people on deviantart and real life friendsI really wanna give all my thanks to those people,
who think I deserve some attention and love because I work so hard.
I always try so hard to make you happy,
even though I'm slowly getting more damaged inside.
I just want you to know I love helping people with problems,
even though I am not stable myself at all,
I can't stand to see people with real issues.(that's one of the many reasons why I hate people that pretend to be sad or depressed.
Depression or stress or any other mental problems are not meant for the internet
If you have other intention than asking for advice or help)
I don't draw so much these days because my mood is all down..
As soon as I'm alone (at home mostly) I get sad.
I don't know the real cause yet, but I'm really
trying hard to find out what it is...
If you have problems, crying about it all the time and trying to score people who feel sorry for you isn't going to help.
I'm really trying to fix the broken walls of my mind,
(sometimes I think I should be rewarded for being strong minded really -_- )
So why I draw less these days is because of all this combined together,
but I have some more problems too but I won't tell them.
I just wanted to tell you because I want you
to know I am not as strong as I used to be,
Please have respect for my words, I only want to be a good person.
I really love drawing with all my heart,
it's the only thing that I am good at for a living...
I wanna draw so much and it's hard to choose
I have so many things in mind that I could draw
Only if I had the mind to just do it and have fun....
Thank you for listening, I
would love to receive comments from you
If there is something you want to tell me
in person you can always note me.
If you have any idea what I should do
feel free to say so in the comments. I love every single of my fans
for you I will of course continue
my comic Roommate Complex.
There is so much I want to show you <3